Research into Anxiety

I have decided to look more into the psychological and chemical reasons for Anxiety to give my concept a more theoretical approach. Obviously i am drawing from personal experience but i think it would be interesting to look at it from a more generalised standpoint.

I'm going to start with a few quotes and little bits and pieces that inspire me.

"A panic attack is characterised by a discrete period of intense fear in the absense of danger, accompanied by a number of cognitive or somatic symptoms."

"Criteria for a panic attack;

A discrete period of intense fear ot discomfort, in which four (or more) of the following symptoms developed abruptly and reached a peak within 10 minutes:

1. Palpitations, pounding heart, or accelerated heart rate.

2. sweating.

3. trembling or shaking.

4. sensations of shortness of breath or smothering.

5. feeling of choking.

6. chest pain or discomfort.

7. nausea or abdominal distress.

8. feeling dizzy, unsteady, lightheaded or faint.

9. derealisation (feelings of unreality) or depersonalisation (being detached from oneself)

10. fear of losing control or going crazy.

11. fear of dying.

12. paresthesias (numbness or tingling sensations)

13. chills or hot flashes."

DSM IV T-R (Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders) Criteria

from the Physiological bases of cognitive and behavioral disorders. page 175-176

The focus for my piece is around points 8,9 and 10 mostly but can have elements of others such as increased heart rate, trembling etc.

Depersonalisation on good ol' wiki;

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depersonalization

"Individuals who experience depersonalization feel divorced from their own personal physicality by sensing their body sensations, feelings, emotions and behaviors as not belonging to the same person or identity. Often a person who has experienced depersonalization claims that things seem unreal or hazy. Also, a recognition of self breaks down (hence the name). Depersonalization can result in very high anxiety levels, which further increase these perceptions. Individuals with depersonalization often find it hard to remember anything they saw or experienced while in third person."

I found the title of this book, but i can only find an extract annoyingly.

From 'Dizziness and panic disorder: a review of the association between vestibular dysfunction and anxiety.' http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9669539 

"Dizziness is a common and costly condition that causes significant distress and impairment yet often confounds appropriate diagnosis and treatment. Among patients presenting for evaluation and treatment of dizziness, rates of panic disorder are elevated to 5 to 15 times the general population rates. In addition, the limited studies to date of dizziness in patients with panic disorder suggest that panic patients frequently experience significant dizziness and often demonstrate evidence of vestibular dysfunction."

The first part of a poem about Anxiety struck me.

http://books.google.co.uk/books?id=6a1QAAAAQBAJ&pg=PT68&dq=panic+attack+poems&hl=en&sa=X&ei=fUYGU9OEAsKw7Aak64HIAQ&ved=0CDkQ6AEwAg#v=onepage&q=panic%20attack%20poems&f=false

"Anybody who has had a panic attack knows they are real,

You think you are as near to death as you can feel."

A Change of Plan

I have decided, after chatting with Rosie and Kathleen a couple of times, that it might be better for me to work individually. I wasn't feeling overly confident about doing a dance video, and i felt like even though i was coming up with ideas for the group, i was also changing them a lot because i wasn't confident with them. I wanted to do the dance video mainly as a cinematography practice, so i feel like the conceptual part of it is just conflicting me. I also feel like the rest of my group would have more of a common ground without me, so i will still help them with technical things, but not be completely involved.

This has led me to develop a few ideas for field and frames as i can now focus more on these projects.

The first one involves photography like i have previously mentioned. I still haven't focused on a concept or idea for this project, but i would still like to explore film photography if i can. I do still like the movement idea with my cat. I know it sounds a bit silly but i think it would be a fun little project where i make a studio environment and just capture him in mid air. I could also do a muybridge type approach with movement. I think i would present it as a series, some focusing on specific parts of his body, and others as full body but all of them involve him jumping.

The second involves something i have made in the past in a small form. The idea of Anxiety has been around through the dance video and through my research for F & F. The video i made last summer was an experiment through the macro technique, to represent a feeling of loss and anxiousness through a POV distorted view of the world. As if the person isn't quite with it, they're in a state of panic. I would like to develop this idea into an installation, working with sound and visuals to create a claustrophobic uncomfortable environment. I want the audience to experience a state of panic and anxiousness through my work. The visuals will be distorted, following someone walking somewhat aimlessly as if they are lost or running away from something. I want the sound to be a massive element, creating a soundtrack of heighted atmospheres and body sounds such as breathing or even a heart beat. This could be used through headphones or through 5.1 surround to completely submerge the viewer within a feeling. 

this is the original video i made as part of a month long project. I quickly put it together but i felt like it was something i could adapt and broaden so this is my opportunity. 

In terms of locations, Kathleen has suggested Richmond Park. I've been meaning to go there for some time due to the deer, for photography reasons so i am thinking it would be a good location. The point is to create a long one shot piece that doesn't feel like it's ever going to end so i can just walk and film. I will need some kind of steady cam and tests first though. 

I have looked into permissions on the Royal Parks website and it seems like i can film since it's only a small production.

http://www.royalparks.org.uk/business/filming

The third idea came from a conversation with my brother a little while ago. When the modules were more music video orientated, i mentioned that i could potentially work with a musician and make a music video with them. He messaged me recently to ask if i still needed a band to do this with because his band would be willing to come down and film in a studio or on location. At the moment, he is proposing that he sends me some concepts that his band feel fit with each of their songs, and i can pick and work with them on whichever idea i like. He's very sure that it's only if i want it for my project as opposed to me working for them so i think it does work well. I also feel this is a good opportunity as the band knows a lot of other bands in the area so could potentially get me work in the future. 

For dance video, our idea was influenced by a chat with Vicky. We were drawn towards taking our fight with self identity idea to a different level with smoke and projection. This was influenced by Tony Oursler. We wanted the dancer to interact with the smoke so that the dancer was fighting with the projection, as if they are fighting with themselves. 

A music video that uses the smoke and projection to work with the singer and create an atmosphere.

This video is a reference for some irratic dancing plus a few effects.

questions -

how will we film the projected images before the main shoot? Especially if it's the same moves/image

research the equipment/technique.

Development of ideas

We have met as a group a couple of times since my last update. We're edging more towards the idea of the mind and how it controls the body. The idea that i am feeling the most confident about at the moment is the idea about two dancers, one of which is representative of a person, and the other is their subconcious in a physical form. This form is manipulating and puppeteering the person to do as they please.
This idea is based from Edrei's about the brain but through my personal experience with anxiety. Since i've had anxiety, i've managed to get the hang of it a little more through thinking about it in a 3rd person. I know it's my brain and the chemicals within, so whenever i feel a horrible way, i will say it's 'my head.' It feels like a constant battle of trying to talk myself out of myself and it's a strange feeling to have. Obviously this is quite a personal experience so i am a bit apprehensive of presenting it to everyone but i think in terms of the idea we originally had, it seems the most obvious to me.
Obviously there is room for improvement and i still feel like we're not quite there yet. I think another element or different approach could make it a lot better, as well as the ideas about sounds or music involved.

Georgie showed this as a reference, and i think it's similar to how i have pictured the piece, but i would like it to have a bit more depth to it.

F & F Musings

I thought i'd go through some initial ideas, and how i would like to develop on existing interests. 

Photography - 

Nature/Landscape - this is my general area in terms of photography, and i would like to expand my love of photography because i am still doing it as a hobbie and i would like to be incorporated into my work more. The only issue i have is that when i do photography in a forcing myself to do it way, i seem to not come out with photos i like as much as the random shooting i do. I think this needs to change.

I am doing a project of my own where i take a photo everyday for this year. It's nothing new or groundbreaking but i'm using it to make myself more confident, especially with taking photos in the street/in front of strangers etc. http://pandalotte365.tumblr.com/

In terms of Nature, i have been taking more photos of animals recently. I like the idea of documenting animals movement, maybe my cat as he jumps. Or just general documentation because i do love animals and i think they're beautiful subjects. 

Example of my past work with animals (both from London Zoo) More here 

Also i like the texture of animals too, the fur and skin. If i had access to animals, this could be an interesting concept. 

Macro

I have found this way of making a kind of double exposure/distorted look by holding a macro filter at an angle in front of the lens. I made a couple of videos with it last year and it's a fun technique. I like that i was able to create an effect through physical things, and i want to explore that a bit more. I like the idea of doing it in a crowd or with people to create some ghostly photos. 

Film

We experimented with drawing on film last week, and i found it very interesting and fun. I ended up putting some leaves and petals onto the film with tape so that they became magnified and i thought it was fun. I haven't got the footage of the film in action just yet, but i have a few photos. 

A re-cap

I've been meaning to put up the art that we've been shown that i like. I think going back to them now is also going to help me, because i have a clearer idea of what i would like to do.

Chris Welsby's pieces we were shown were interesting because they were simple but facinating to watch. I have been looking more into his work and i think if i want to do a minimal approach for my fields and frames project, he could be one to reference.

Hilary Harris - 9 Variations on a Dance Theme

I like the camera movement and how it works with the dancer.

Touched - Wendy Houstoun

This is an interesting piece because it uses dance to portay situations and a setting as opposed to being all the dance itself. I also like the flow of the movement, it gives you the sense of intoxication and disruption.

Phillippe Decoufle - le p'tit pal

I like the synchronicity of this video. I also like that it has a comical feeling to it, the fact that they're sat in a field with the desk seems strange, and i think that's why it's intriguing, especially with the movements.

Norman Mclaren - Pas De Deux

I really like how the movement is portayed in this. The echo of the dance is really beautiful and i'm sure i've used this as inspiration in research of past projects. It's simple but effective.

Lodela - Jose Navas & Chi Long 

I like the contrast of black and white in this as well as the use of shapes and illusion.

Memotone - Clockwork Horse 

It's interesting to be able to see past student's work in context with what you're about to achieve, and also how people have interpreted the briefs in the past. 

Weightless - Erika Janunger

I think this piece is so beautiful. It's such a simple idea, but the effect it has is so breathtaking. 

Tell No One - Seaweed

I found this interesting because i have a friend who has done the same technique, so i'm interested to try it out (through his guidance) it's clever and innovative. 

My friend Michael's version

Lumiere Brothers - Surpentine Dance

I find this interesting in the fact that it's such an early piece of film and also how she's dancing with the fabric. I like how she produces shapes through the movement. 

Feist - 1,2,3,4

I was going to put this in my list of music videos earlier on, but somehow i didn't. I think it's a playful and lovely representation of dance. It's a bit silly and simple, and i think that's what's charming.

Matched 

I think this is very stylised and modern, but i think that's what makes it look good too. It seems very commercial. But i do like the way the dancers move and interact with each other. 

Submotion Orchestra - Hard To Stay

This is a clever use of post production techniques and how it influences the dance. It's a simple way of making something new out of a love story dynamic.

Fields and Frames

The fields and frames project is really interesting me. I want to try out a few different ideas, but i'm not really sure how much i want to put on myself considering the dance video. My interests at the moment are photography. I was thinking of this from a practical point of view just because it's something i can easily do on my own, and wouldn't be as time consuming as a full shoot, but i would also like to consider making some kind of film for my portfolio. 

I've done some general research into photography, i've looked through a few books and looked up especially conceptual photography to give me some ideas. 

John William Keedy - It's Hardly Noticeable 

I really like this set of photographs because i have anxiety myself, and i feel like it's a clever way of representing something in a minimal way. It doesn't shove the message in your face, and is extremely relatable to someone like me. 

 

Full set here 

Tim Flach

I firstly found his dog portaits, but on his website, he has a lot more photographs and they're all equally as amazing. I love how he captures animals in a formal setting, most of them seemingly posing in a studio. I love nature photography but this is a very stylised way of capturing animals and i think it looks really good. 

Website

Adam Fuss

I was taken by this photo of the snake in a book, and reading more into Adam's processes in photograms, i am interested in looking into more of his work. 

Uta Barth 

I'm interested in her abstract take on photography. Her photos turn every day locations into light and colour. 

 

Hiroshi sugimoto - seascapes

Again, i love the minimal aspect to these photos. I love how the sea become gradients and shades,  it takes something natural and turns it into something abstract but beautiful.

Full set

Bing Wright - Broken Mirror/Evening Sky

I find these photos so beautiful. The way in which the sky can be manipulated in such a simple way really pleases me. 

Website

Music + Sounds

Before talking more about ideas with the group, i was thinking about what kind of music or sounds i would like to use. My first choice is a musician called Tom Milsom, he's an independent musican/youtuber and it seems he enjoys people using his music for artistic purposes, plus i just like his music.

I was thinking in terms of our mind idea that the music could be quite angry or hard. We could even make a soundtrack with drums and minimal melodies. You can play with that in terms of making the movement and cuts disjointed, as if the mind is taking over.
A couple of references for this would be Portishead - Machine Gun for its harsh and repetitive beat.

As well as Tom Milsom - Alien Which is half a beat and half a song, which has lyrics about something inside of them taking over, so could link with the project. 

In terms of making a soundtrack out of sounds from the shoot, i also like this idea. The sound of deep breathing plus some overlaid sounds that enhance the feelings of the dancer and the atmosphere could work really well. If our piece involves minimal movement, it could enhance the tension.